Two months after graduating college, my career plans are still undefined. Who knew that a degree in communication wouldn’t secure a bright future with a 401k and dental insurance? According to my parents, two months is too long to be a jobless post-grad. They have begun daydreaming all sorts of careers for me!
At dinner, my mother casually brought up my two almost-cousins who attend the Air Force Academy. She joked with their mother, saying, “Oh, well, your sons already had jobs coming out of college, so it’s a little different for Debbi.” Then it struck her: why hasn’t my daughter considered the army? Dumbfounded, I paused before laughing hysterically. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I said, “Mom, I would die.” Oh no no no, I wouldn’t be in combat, I am smart enough to be in a remote location, behind a computer with a headset on. “Besides,” she added, “There wouldn’t be any war after you finished school.” (In this scenario, I would have to earn another degree, because obviously I have no technical skills.)
No war? I told her there was NO guarantee that if I joined the army it would be a war-free experience. That is a very naive thought. But I wouldn’t even die in combat, because I would be dead in boot camp. Day one, within the first 30 minutes of warm-up running, dead. After more examples of how I would die in boot camp, my mom laughed and finally agreed it was a crackpot idea, but coming from a military family, I think she still has her fingers crossed for GI Big Debs.
Another suggestion for my future: flight attendant. I like to travel, therefore I would like to wait on people inside airplanes and permanently live out of my suitcase. Upon doing some research, it turns out that flight attendants have short life spans because of their exposure to germs and some sort of UV rays. So, this career idea ALSO ends with my death.
My mother want to kill me.
A less morbid idea comes from my father, who has decided I will go to law school. On numerous occasions, he has mentioned how he has little faith in my degree. He once said, “Well, you unfortunately decided to go with communication, just like I went with psychology…” My father works at Walmart. Would it have been better if I stuck with art?
I daydreamed about what kind of lawyer I would be, and whether I would be any good. Big Debs, attorney at law. I honestly don’t know, but the idea of suffering through the GRE, LSAT, and bar exam is nauseating. Let’s be frank; I am lazy. I decided against transferring to Emory because I knew it would be harder and more work. Not that I couldn’t handle Emory or law school, but to work so hard for a job I’m not even sure I want? Sounds like a waste of time, effort, and money.
