I’ve been living back at home for three months now. When I’m struggling, I think about how many other struggling post-grads moved back home. Every home is different, though. My family interactions flip flop from silently occupying the same space, to total room invasion.
This past Monday, I returned home around 8:30 p.m. after driving through two hours of horrendous traffic. Exhausted, I marched up to my room to get on my laptop. My mom, who I assume was in a wine state of mind, kept creeping into my room to ask what I was up to. No problem there, she always does that. I suppose I was rude for not visiting with her when I first arrived home. My mom sat on the edge of my bed near my nightstand, and I took a break from Facebook/job hunt to try and talk.
My nightstand has four small draws, most of which are empty. One, however, is my goodie draw. As the girls in Sex and the City say, everyone knows not to open your nightstand drawer, because its contents are private. Well, apparently my mother thought otherwise. I watched as she starts pulling open every drawer. I silently panicked and asked what she was doing. She replied, “I just want to know what you have in here.” I asked her to stop. “Why, do you have a DILDO in one?”
Horrified, I dashed up in front of my night stand, right as she pulls open the goodie draw. I screamed. She repeated the question, “Do you really have a dildo?!” Fight or flight? Shielding my drawer, I finally shouted, “Yes, yes! Jesus! It’s not even like I can use it when my dad is in the next fucking room. Go away!”
[Side note: my father sleeps in the guest bedroom, which is right next to mine]
Pathetically, I almost cried. I couldn’t even look at her. She finally left without a word. Knowing her, I probably hurt HER feelings because of my attitude, but what was I suppose to do? This was an invasion of privacy! What kind of mother asks their daughter if they own a sex toy? Not even the Gilmore Girls would share this kind of information.
TL;DR: I had to admit to my mother that I own a vibrator, and I was mortified.
