Last week, Jennifer discovered that American Apparel had a 30% off + free shipping coupon. She ordered a couple cool things, and I decided I wanted to get something as well. I had been eyeballing the circle scarf last time I was at the store, but it was too expensive to buy outright. The circle scarf is one of the versatile items they make that can be worn several different ways. 30% off was so tempting… After much debate about which color to get, I settled with the teal. (I wanted red, but they apparently didn’t make it anymore)
Once I sent out my order, they emailed me back saying that it was backordered. “Fucking shit!” I cried. What would I do without my circle scarf? I had already planned out all the possible outfits I wanted to make. BUT! Today I checked the tracking number and saw that it had arrived! Yay hooray.
I opened my package and unrolled a gigantic, thick, and very teal (almost too teal, one might say) piece of jersey fabric. I immediately regretted my decision. It looked so thin on the website! What the hell!?
Here are my attempts at making this piece of shit work.
Look #1: The Basic Scarf
Is this a fucking Baby Bjorn? I had to triple fold it up in order to even make it look relatively like a scarf.
Look #2: The Double Scarf
It was like a boa constrictor was wrapped around my neck. I had to tug on it to make it look normal.
I guess this would be helpful in a blizzard.
Look #3: The Double Scarf with Hood
I borrowed this from Mary when she was done giving birth.
Look #4 The Shawl
This one would have been cool if I could move my arms beneath all the fabric. I was actually wondering if I could pull off the grandma shawl look or not earlier today. I even added an old lady pin to complete the ensemble.
Look #5 The Dress
How the American Apparel people made this huge tube fit nicely into a dress is beyond me. There were pools of fabric hanging off of me in the back. Not even a belt would hold it up.
Look #6 The Toga
Hey bro, I’m ready for the party, bro!
Look #7 The Sack
Suitable for any occasion!
Bonus Look: Professor Queerman
Dress your room mate up as a certain Hogwarts professor for a viewing of Brad Neely’s “Wizard People, Dear Reader.”
Overall rating: I give the Circle Scarf 1 out of a possible 5 PBR’s.
The worst part is if I want to return it I have to pay for shipping. Touché, American Apparel. Touché.
